Parents and teachers can collaborate to form a dream team instead of blaming one another when it comes to the issue of raising a child. Ineffective communication between parents and teachers can be a major obstacle when trying to solve problems with students, but fortunately it can be improved. Let’s first examine the two major causes of communication dysfunction.
Problem 1: Judgment
Teachers judge the parents of their students all the time. They judge them based on students’ language, hygiene, dress and social skills. Parents judge teachers, too, based on comments from their children. “What did you learn in school today?” is usually followed by, “Nothing.” Sometimes children accuse teachers of being unfair, picking on them, being prejudiced or a myriad of other questionable treatments.
So parents and teachers judge each other constantly, and the sources of their judgments are kids, often with a vested interest. Good kids want their parents and teachers to like each other. Troubled students want the opposite. Many children can, in their eyes, benefit from animosity between parents and teachers; and they play one against the other. This is a dysfunctional form of communication.
Problem 2: “Blaming”
The second problem is called what i call “blaming.” When ineffective, frustrated or angry teachers call parents about their child, they tend to “blame” the problem on the parents. They tell what offense the child committed, and state that the parent must do something about it. This is no more effective than a parent calling a teacher about a problem at home and asking the teacher to fix it. Parents blaming teachers is also common. They claim the teacher is responsible for a child’s bad grades, bad behavior or bad attitude. They demand that the teacher must change. Parent blaming is growing, reaching dangerously high levels with less respect and belief in the professionalism of the teacher. When parents and teachers blame each other and make unreasonable demands, the one who suffers the most is the child. Blame creates no winners and lots of losers. No worries i will tell you how parents and teachers can collaborate to form a dream team.
Parents and teachers need to understand that they have the same goal, and therein lies the remedy for these problems. Both want the best for the student. Removing the child from parent/teacher communication process can alleviate much of the communication dysfunction. I don’t mean that children should be left out totally. There is certainly an important place for the child to be part of the process. But there is also a place for teachers and parents to build a relationship of their own. Both need to talk directly to each other.
How Teachers Can Help
As early in the year as possible, teachers need to call as many parents on the phone as possible. The purpose of the call is to welcome the parent into the learning community and to establish a positive communication line. Also, how parents and teachers can collaborate to form a dream team.
How Parents Can Help
Parents, too, can help communication. They can inform teachers of things happening at home that might affect student behavior; serious illness, birth of a new baby, a change or addition of a medication, or a parent on an extended trip abroad are all examples of things that can help teachers. Children who strongly object to going to school, hate a certain subject, are being bullied or have too much homework are other helpful things to discuss with teachers.
Become A Team
Finally, stop dumping and blaming on both sides. These tactics help no one, make the other party defensive and prevents finding possible solutions. Become a team, not adversaries. Share your perceptions honestly. Tell the other what works at home or in class and what doesn’t. Work out a plan of action to try, and be flexible enough to change it if it doesn’t help. Deflect accusations by not taking them personally. It is entirely doable that parents and teachers can collaborate to form a dream team.
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